i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize