only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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