Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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