i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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