can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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