he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
