Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
