..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
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