I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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