Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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