So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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