bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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