I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I showed him my bush... on skype.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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