who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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