i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
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