Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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