walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
