i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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