Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
