you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
