she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize
