at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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