therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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