im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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