Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
