did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Randomize
