Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
