Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
