absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
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