Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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