I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
