She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Is it penis luge time yet?
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize