she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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