So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Randomize
