everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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