What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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