Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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