Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
