At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Randomize
