:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
