i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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