we're chasing vodka with high fives
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
