her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
