i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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