like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
