i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Randomize