I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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