His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Randomize
