i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Randomize
