I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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