so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
