dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Randomize
