mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Randomize
