she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I just found a bag of teeth...
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
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