My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Randomize
