i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize