sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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