k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
