Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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