Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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