I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
