It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
lets start a swedish sibling band together
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
