don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
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